For parents, learning that your underage child is pregnant may be one of the most trying times in your life. Whether or not you think you’re prepared, you're going to need to help your child weigh all her options for handling the pregnancy. Some options, like abortion or placing the child for adoption, may or may not be available, depending on where you live and whether the biological father agrees.
Whether your daughter and the child’s father are in a committed relationship, or if they’ve decided that staying together is impossible, before you and your child can choose how to handle the pregnancy, you’ll need to ask the child’s biological father how he would like to move forward.
If your daughter plans on parenting the child and there’s no dispute about paternity, both parents can put their names on the child’s birth certificate.
Both parents can also sign an acknowledgment or declaration of paternity, which has the same legal effect as a court order. Once the parents sign and submit the document, the biological father’s paternity rights are concrete.
Establishing paternity is the best way for a biological father to gain custodial and visitation rights but will also create a responsibility to financially support the child.
If either parent disputes paternity, that parent can go to court to ask for a hearing to establish paternity. The court will require the presumed father to submit a DNA sample to verify (or dispute) paternity of the child.
Some states require mothers to obtain the biological father’s consent to adoption, while other states do not. If your child wishes to place the child for adoption and the biological father disagrees, he may need to demonstrate to the court that he has the desire and means to provide support and will take custody of the child. Otherwise, the court may involuntarily terminate the father’s rights so that the adoption process can move forward.
If you have questions or concerns about what steps you need to take regarding a potential biological father’s rights, contact an experienced family law attorney in your state.
Unexpected pregnancies, especially for young parents, can be overwhelming. However, not all unplanned pregnancies are unwelcome.
It’s no secret that raising children is expensive and life-altering, but if your daughter has as a reliable support network in place, it’s not impossible, regardless of her age. Most communities have organizations dedicated to helping young parents and may provide counseling, information, and other resources.
If your child chooses to carry the pregnancy, but isn’t prepared to or doesn’t want to raise the child, adoption is always an excellent option. In most states, an underage expectant mother doesn’t need to get parental permission before placing the child for adoption. However, a handful of states, like Michigan and Pennsylvania, do require the minor to obtain parental consent.
It’s important to remember that if you’re the parent of an expectant teenage parent, you can’t force your child to place the baby for adoption. If you support your child’s adoption decision, you can help her by explaining the different types of adoption and encourage her to select the adoptive parents. Giving your daughter the power to decide who will raise her child may seem trivial, but it may help comfort her immediately after the adoption and for many years after.
You and your daughter may choose a family adoption, which is where you (her parents) adopt the baby. Underage expectant parents may find kinship or relative adoption more attractive, because it eliminates parental obligations, but still allows the biological parent to be involved in the child’s life.
It’s important for your child to understand the potential conflicts with a kinship adoption, as well. For example, if the biological and adoptive parents share a home, it may be challenging to establish parental roles for the child.
Parents who wish to raise their grandchildren can file an adoption request with the local court. A kinship adoption is typically more straightforward than a standard adoption, but the grandparents (or other relative applying to adopt the child) must also complete a home study, application process, and appear in court.
If both biological parents are involved in the pregnancy, the court will also require the parents to relinquish their parental rights in a court hearing.
If your child isn’t prepared to raise a child or place it for adoption, she may decide that abortion is the best choice for her. Abortion is an extremely personal decision, but in most states, a minor child can’t make it alone.
As of 2018, at least 37 states required minors to have some type of parental permission before a doctor could perform an abortion. However, in 2019, some states are now considering removing the parental consent requirement for minors. For example, in Massachusetts, legislators have introduced a bill titled "An Act to Remove Obstacles and Expand Abortion Access" in an attempt to remove the parental permission requirement for minors seeking an abortion.
Some states don’t require parental consent, but the minor must inform at least one parent of the decision to have an abortion 24-48 hours in advance of the procedure. Every state has different laws regarding minors and abortion, so be sure to consult with an attorney if you have questions about what your state requires, especially with the increase in changing laws in 2019.
In every state that requires parental consent, the pregnant minor may be able to overcome the requirements by applying for a judicial bypass. The legal bypass process may be the right path to take if the minor doesn’t want to inform either parent or if the parents won’t consent to the medical procedure.
Judges who hear judicial bypass cases aren’t doctors, health experts, or therapists, so there are many flaws in the bypass process. In a 1979 case, the United States Supreme Court set rules for judges to follow in a bypass proceeding. (Bellotti v. Baird, 443 U.S. 622 (1979).) The court must evaluate whether:
Judges have broad discretion with judicial bypass requests, and in some conservative counties, many judges have their minds made up before meeting the teenager.
For example, in one Arizona case, a woman applied for a judicial bypass, and the judge required her to provide clear and convincing evidence—one of the highest standards of proof—that she was well-informed and mature enough to decide to have an abortion. Despite the women proving that she had multiple discussions with health experts, the judge denied her petition. (In re B.S., 205 Ariz. 611, 615-19 (2003).)
For now, abortion is still legal in all 50 states and D.C.., but that may change, depending on how states handle new abortion legislation. Recently, several states have attempted to restrict or even ban the procedure. Most notably, in May 2019, Alabama legislators passed a controversial ban on abortion in nearly every circumstance, including rape and incest.
As of the time of this writing, several other states, including Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Missouri, Mississippi, and Ohio have passed or are attempting to pass legislation called "heartbeat bills," which would ban abortion after a fetal heartbeat has been detected (usually within 6-8 weeks of pregnancy). Like Alabama, many of these proposed laws do not have exceptions for rape or incest, meaning a sexual assault victim, even if she's a minor, would be required to carry and deliver the rapist's child.
While some new laws have already passed through state legislators and others have even garnered the governor's approval, no state has implemented the recent changes. For the states that have seen the new laws approved, there's typically a waiting period before the new law is effective.
Others, like Mississippi and Louisiana, have passed laws only to have a federal judge strike the laws down as unconstitutional. In states that attempt to restrict or ban abortion, many pro-choice agencies have promised to challenge the legislation, a move that could delay new abortion laws from taking effect for many years.
The recent increase in sweeping changes to abortion law is part of a bigger goal for many government officials and pro-life organizations: to get the case in front of the United State’s Supreme Court to challenge Roe v. Wade, a 46-year-old case that protects a woman’s right to choose abortion. We will have to wait to see what comes of this new wave of anti-abortion legislation.
In the meantime, if your child is considering abortion, it’s important that she feels supported and educated. Many community and nonprofit organizations, such as Planned Parenthood, can provide your family with resources to help you and your child make an informed decision.
Updated May 20, 2019
