Ok, couple of thoughts. First, adultery is not an issue in custody cases - totally irrelevant. Second, she did not commit "incest" since she is not biologically related to her brother-in-law. If you have PROOF that she is doing drugs, is mentally ill, etc., then you need to initiate a divorce and seek custody of the kids ASAP.

Thank you for the inquiry.

First, your wife's affair with your brother is unfortunate and I am sure very painful. However, it is not incest. It is infidelity. Certainly, anything that can negatively affect children can be considered in a custody case. Unless,you can show that he affair has such a negative effect, it will not likely be a significant factor in the outcome. The drug use and instability issues can be very significant. You should immediately contact and retain an experienced family law lawyer.

One of the first things you need to know right away, is that your wife's affair may have very little to do with the final custody decision. Custody decisions are made based on the children's best interests. Whether or not an affair has occurred is not one of the best interest factors. There may be facts that make the affair more relevant, but you haven't included them here.

The far more concerning facts are the drugs and suicidal behavior. If this goes to court, you will need to prove to the court that your wife's behavior affects the children's best interests. Since you are in Isanti County, you may have the option of asking the court to appoint a Guardian ad Litem. The GAL serves as a neutral whose duty it is to represent the best interests of the kids.

These are very serious accusations you're making. If they are true, then I would encourage you to consult with an attorney as soon as possible. There are steps that you can take now in order to better secure your position later.

The key is for you to be able to prove the drug use and the fact that she is suicidal. If there is erratic behavior then this could give rise to a judge ordering drug test. A guardian ad litem (GAL) could be appointed to investigate the mental health issue and if the GAL is of the opinion that your wife presents a danger to the children then this should go a long way with the judge and with your efforts to obtain custody of your children.

Hello. How nice that you have two little tots - lots of work but so much joy to have kids & to raise kids !

It certainly makes complete (and obvious) sense that you are clear that your spouse ought not be 'taking care' of your two precious little children at all at this time & for any foreseeable future.

Remember: Phone 911 as to immediate or imminent danger of physical harm. Peace officer (police) welfare checks may be requested. Child protection may be contacted 24-7 but preferably during the normal M-F bus. hrs.

If your finances are limited, which I expect they are, & if you reside in a somewhat remote area of MN, which I also suspect is the case, know that a few few of us routinely form agreements to help such people. In my professional work, it is routine to be helping folks who are in somewhat isolated areas of MN & people who are outside MN, even outside the USA. A very few of us, myself included, will consider financial hardship in fee.

We attorneys here do NOT solicit clients: It is for you to make the contact. Also, since you face such problems be aware that a few of us work '7 days', in order to be available to people with such serious issues that the client problems may unfold '24-7' !!

Also, I urge you yourself phone Crisis Connection 24-7 - you can phone repeatedly. Superbly trained staff, & supervisors are always present.

I will also note to you that a very few of us, myself included, happen to have extensive training, knowledge & experience with folks whose issues include drug use, addiction, mental illness, personality 'disorders' & various combinations of such problems - read att'y online website biography pages I urge. My ongoing education & training includes highly specialized training from a national suicide awareness & support network for professionals - there are not many who have come 'close up' in study re. people who are suicidal. You described your spouse as having a 'big mix' of drug/chemical use ('pot' is just one drug, as is alcohol), apparent drug 'addiction', 'binge use', 'abuse', etc., & what must a complex set of ongoing mental health issues & complicated manifestations of all of the various problems.

I also urge: Be entirely wary of 'free advice', regardless of source.

You sound like a fantastic loving parent to your kids!! I hope that you have a network of loving family, friends (church?? - neighbors? others??) who actively support YOU & help YOU. All the best to you !!

I hope that your life ahead, the future for you & your little ones, is a wonderful one. I will add all of you to my daily prayers.

Tricia Dwyer Esq

Mr. Nickle has given you good advice. Seek qualified counsel as soon as possible. Try to document as many known facts (not opinion) in your case as possible and the dates they occurred to help your attorney get up to speed quickly. If this is an incest situation, it is likely to have existed for a long time. Good luck.

For the sake of your children, you need to find a divorce attorney in your area as soon as possible. While you are looking, keep in mind the "clean hands" doctrine. You need to do all the right things for the benefit of the kids. Many attorneys offer free consultations. Use AVVO's lawyer search to find an attorney in your area and get in to see someone as soon as you can. Good luck.