Unfortunately, your questions cannot really be answered without knowing more of the facts of the situation. I can tell you that you already indicated you two are not in agreement about things and so using the same lawyer would be unwise. At the very least, you should consult with your own attorney before signing any documents.
If you answer the petition for divorce with a denial that there are irreconciliable differences (that is, say things can be worked out) then you can move the court to order a conciliation conference where you husband has to sit down with you and explore whether the marriage can be saved.
The bankruptcy also can really complicate things. If there are debts where you both are responsible (liable), then his bankruptcy will leave you on the hook for the debt. It is important to consult with an attorney who knows both family law and bankruptcy law.
